A Happy Tradwife

 

I just watched a video in which a British woman called  Alena Kate Pettitt, explains why she has chosen to live as a “tradwife“ – a full-time traditional housewife. That would mean that she doesn’t work outside her home so that she can be there for her husband and children and look after their home and garden. That was what life was supposed to be like for a woman in the 1950s. She doesn’t stop there, however, because she is not only ironing her husband's shirts in the video, but she is also propagating this lifestyle on social media, telling people how happy she is to support her husband so that he can be the best he can be. She is standing behind her ironing board as she is being filmed, but passing the iron over the shirt doesn’t seem to have any effect on the shirt which is not getting any smoother.

We have got used to all kinds of influencers on social media who have carved out a lifestyle of being paid for what they are posting, promoting various products. The movement on social media called #tradwife with people like the woman I saw, is using the same media possibilities, just promoting a different kind of lifestyle. So is she really a traditional housewife? It’s quite a big leap away from the possibilities of the 1950s

I chose to not pursue a career of my own and have spent most of my adult life taking care of my children and home, supporting my husband’s career. I was fortunate to have this choice. For most of my life, I have been happy about it. At the same time, I must admit that I would choose differently if I were given the opportunity again.

According to Ms. Pettit, feminism means you have the right to make your own choices, and if she chooses not to work she is a feminist. Well, no. She is free to do that because feminists have fought for women’s rights, but it doesn’t make her a feminist. Of course, nobody is going to force her to adapt to the modern role model of the working woman. I consider myself a feminist despite being a so-called housewife, not because of it.

What is work anyway? Is work only what you are paid for? A tradwife who is generating an income on social media is doing work. She may be working from home, but what she does is work. Housework is unpaid work, but it is still work. Working on social media is work as well. So a tradwife is not choosing not to work after all. Her work is of a different kind. As a feminist, I have been fighting for the recognition of the value of the work of a housewife all my life.

Role models – be they traditional or progressive – have been put up to influence people’s life choices. Depending on which social environment you grow up in, different role models influence expectations. These expectations have varied in the course of history. So what is this #tradwife movement really about? Is it a pushback to get women back to baking scones or is there something more sinister about it?

The nostalgia for the good old times when life was not so complicated may be one reason why women choose to throw their careers overboard. On the other hand, a lot of politics may be involved, with the pendulum swinging to the right. At the same time, conservative religious groups are fighting to prevent women from assuming positions of leadership.

A happy housewife who irons shirts may not know that the lifestyle she is living was used in totalitarian regimes of the past to control the mindset of people or that religion used it to subjugate women. We should hear the alarm bells ringing when politics and religion come together to influence society. It is a dangerous mixture.

 Photo: By Internet Archive Book Images - https://www.flickr.com/photos/internetarchivebookimages/14764187131/Source book page: https://archive.org/stream/ladieshomejourna65janwyet/ladieshomejourna65janwyet#page/n964/mode/1up, No restrictions, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=43976529