What Feminism is about for me (9) Feminists Do Not Hate Men

 

Why is feminism such an unpopular word? Nigerian author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie was warned against calling herself a feminist because, people said, feminists are unhappy women who cannot find a husband. So Chimamanda called herself a Happy Feminist. Then she was told that feminism did not fit into the African culture, so she called herself a Happy African Feminist. Then a good friend said that calling herself a feminist meant that she hated men. So Chimamanda decided to call herself a Happy African Feminist Who Does Not Hate Men. She continued to reply to this series of objections until she declared herself a Happy African Feminist, Who Does Not Hate Men and Who Likes to Wear Lip Gloss and High Heels for Herself and Not For Men. Feminists do not hate men although they are not happy about their treatment of women. Feminists want equal rights and justice for women. Christian feminists adopt a lot of these ideas, while also showing that this was God’s plan for women.

Sexist Education in Conservative Churches

I remember a young people’s meeting in my first year as a young pastor’s wife. In a group discussion, the men insisted that women spiff themselves up only for the benefit of men. I did not agree. I had to explain to them that I want to be able to look at myself in the mirror and it has nothing to do with looking attractive to men. I refused to see women as accessories to men’s pleasure. But that is the way the world still turns. Magazines are sold with beautiful women on the cover. A new automobile is launched with a scantily clad woman sitting on the hood. Advertising is sexist.

Conservative churches are trying to counteract this commercialism by teaching modesty and submission to young girls and women. In an effort to produce good, submissive Christian wife material they are taught to dress modestly and conform to submissive role models. This is just as sexist. It is only the other side of the sexist coin. The church is still in many ways expecting women to be like the housewives of the 1950s. I am in no way disparaging the value of a woman’s work if she, like me, decides that she wants to be primarily a homemaker.

Conservatism looks back at the past and tries to conserve elements and values that were regarded as the norm in past times. Some of that was certainly good. The apostle Paul calls Christian to “test everything; hold fast what is good” (1Thess 5:21 ESV). Even though his exhortation is written in the context of prophecies, I think this principle is good for all areas of our lives. We are no longer living in the middle of the last century and have to test our faith and adapt it to vibrant Christian living of our time. Let us make Christianity relevant to our times!

If we ask ourselves why we are losing our young people, we have to admit that part of the answer is that our church is perceived as irrelevant, sexist, misogynistic, homophobic, and even racist. If we regard education as the solution, and I am convinced that we can only change the world through education, it must be an education that teaches egalitarian principles.

A couple of years ago the Women’s Ministries department in Spain made a beautiful video clip for International Women’s Day with an important message: Men and women share responsibilities in the home. Women were not meant to exist just as fringe benefits for men.

This is the text of the video:

•          It is understood that household responsibilities should be shared by the husband and wife…

•          But the truth is that the woman bears the brunt of the weight most of the time.

•          As husbands, we don’t always realize that our wives need a helping hand

•          Well, a hand is not exactly what they need. They need a partner.

•          And the two shall become one flesh so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Mark 10:8

•          When I clean I am not simply giving a helping hand… because I also contribute to the mess.

•          When I cook I am not simply giving a helping hand… because I, too, need to eat.

•          When I do the dishes I am not simply giving a helping hand… because I too use the dishes.

•          When I do the laundry I am not simply giving a helping hand… because I too wear clothes.

•          When I take care of the children I am not simply giving a helping hand… because they are also my children.

•          I don’t simply give a helping hand… because it’s my home, too.

•          I’m not simply giving a helping hand… I am sharing, and that’s what love means.

•          Sharing is loving.

The Apostle Paul wrote to the church in Philippi (Phil 2:15) encouraging them to be a light in the world in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation. I understand that he is speaking of the injustice that reigns in the world and that Christians should work towards improving the situation by shining a light on darkness.

Role of Religion

At the 7th Annual Symposium on the Role of Religion and Faith-based Organizations in International Affairs on January 26, 2021, one of the speakers was Ganoune Diop Ph.D., director of the public affairs and religious liberty department of the Seventh-Day Adventist church. Diop’s main thesis was that women are fully human, inferior in no area. Accordingly to value people differently due to gender is simply inhumane. The symposium was keyed to recommit and affirm the resolutions of the Beijing +25 platform for advancing women’s rights, key among which is the right to equality. I quote his words:

„Acceleration to full equality, in all sectors of society should be based on the solid foundation and affirmation of the full humanity of women, their full dignity, their full human rights, and their full participation as actors in the life of the whole human family. There must be a sense of urgency to overcome the challenge of various obstacles. Our world is at a place where the cry for justice – for all – is increasing, especially in a time of social unrest and various reckonings.“

He concluded that the goal of the symposium on gender equality and women’s rights is about freedom, emancipation, and self-determination. It is about the abolition of subjugation and submission of human beings. To me, this sounds very much like what feminists are striving for. Dr. Diop’s position of respect for the humanity of all and the need for equality and equity for women is encouraging. I hope that his voice will be heard among the other leaders of his/our church.

Our Christian religion should lead us to love one another, respecting and supporting others without one half of humanity trying to subjugate the other half. Oppressed women should be set free so that they can live out their full potential. Just because this is what they want and deserve, it doesn’t mean that they hate men. They are just claiming what is their due.

 

Photo: Pixabay free photo